We all dreamt of getting married, maybe you have seen a princess movie where the main character finds their true love. However, if you think that marrying someone will be just like a fairytale story, you are probably wrong.
As we matured and grew older, we have witnessed a lot of marriages. Starting from our parents to friends, and down to some famous personalities. Because of this, we tend to realize that not all marriages were successful. There are a lot of broken vows and married couples who later on find out that they are not each others' soulmates. But what might be the root cause of this?
You and your partner are getting married. But you both want to ensure that all of your principles, dreams, and goals in life are aligned. That is when the right time for both of you to consult in Premarital Counseling.
What is Premarital Counseling?
Have you ever heard of couples therapy? Premarital counseling is just like that. Premarital counseling is also known as pre-marriage counseling. This type of counseling is made for couples planning to take their relationship on to the next level or the marriage. Some teams consider having counseling before the wedding to prepare themselves before entering into a new chapter of their life.
Premarital counseling's primary goal is to guide you and your partner by addressing the possible issues that may arise in your married life. These issues can range from finances, children, work, and emotional and physical attitudes.
6 Reasons to Take a Premarital Counseling
Going on in counseling before marriage can save you from a deep conflict with your partner. Many people think that premarital counseling is only for the married couple whose relationship is on the verge of falling apart.
This is one of the stereotypes of premarital counseling, but did you know that your relationship can benefit a lot in this counseling? To help you with that, here are the 6 reasons to take premarital counseling.
1. Addressing the Significant Problems
Living a happy life with a complete and big family might be surreal. Keep in mind that it is still important to talk about the possible significant issues you may face. Many couples tend to avoid bringing up significant problems, which can lead to a broken marriage. It is vital to discuss financial, long and short-term goals, roles, etc. This is important as it helps you both to have an intact relationship with one another.
2. Stronger Foundation
Building a house needs a solid and sturdy structure. Just like building a family, a strong foundation is necessary. In that case, all of your dreams, goals, and aspirations must be aligned and make sure that you are on the same page. You must keep your relationship strong to build a good home.
3. Planning the Future
Premarital counseling would not just help you to address your problems. In fact, they can also help you to plan a promising future for your family. A marriage counselor would guide the couple on how to plan their family according to their finances.
4. Changing Unhealthy Behaviors
Every one of us has its own unhealthy attitudes. However, these attitudes can damage a good relationship if not suppressed as soon as possible. Pre-marriage counseling can help you address your toxic traits and guide you on avoiding having those behaviors. You mustn't tolerate your partner's unhealthy behaviors as it may lead to knocking both selves out.
5. To learn More About the Responsibilities of a Married Life
You both must know what chapter of your life you are entering. Talking to someone who has more experiences than you will give you wisdom as they can share the happiness, struggles, and other issues they faced.
6. A New Beginning
As you enter a new chapter in your life book, you must resolve all the bad things that happened in the last chapter. Help from a marriage counselor would help you move on from the past problems you and your significant other have and embrace the new beginning ahead of you.
What Should You Discuss in Premarital Counseling?
When you decide to have counseling before marriage, expect to talk about intimate and profound issues between you, your significant other, and the marriage therapist.
To give you an in-depth understanding, here is the list of the possible topics and issues that may be discussed during pre-marriage counseling.
1. Marriage Outlook
Undeniably, it is fascinating to be married to the love of your life. However, marriage is not always perfect. Both of you have indifferences, and it is one thing you should expect in married life.
2. Gender Roles
You both must know the roles of each other in a married relationship. Talk about who will cook, wash the clothes and dishes, clean the house, work, etc. As simple as it may seem but a vital thing to discuss with your partner.
3. Future Conflict Resolution Strategies
Conflicts are unavoidable, especially in married life. That is why you must have good communication and understanding skills. Healthy communication is vital as you will be able to express yourself. Still, understanding is the key to a good conflict resolution strategy.
4. Financial Management
Money can be the root of the conflict. One way to avoid future financial problems is to focus first on your family's needs rather than your personal wants. You and your spouse must be an open book to each other regarding money.
5. Children and Parenting Style
You must talk about the plans of either having or not having any kids. Many millennial couples are very open to not having kids for many different reasons. As per the parents who plan to build a big family, parenting style is crucial as you can be their role models.
6. Intimacy Matters
There is nothing wrong with talking about your sex life for a married couple. In fact, intimacy between married couples is essential as it can strengthen your relationship. Being intimate and showing your love to each other keeps the fire burning between you and your soon-to-be spouse.
7. Family Affairs
Pre-marriage counseling can allow you to be open and truthful about what you feel about your partner's family and vice versa. This will resolve any hanging family problems between you and your partner.
Those are just some of the issues discussed during pre-marriage counseling. These topics will help you build a stronger relationship as you can talk about how you feel about each other.
Different Premarital Counseling Methods
If you are planning on undergoing premarital counseling, here are the types of therapy methods you may choose. You must select the suitable and best counseling method to make you and your partner feel more comfortable sharing your thoughts with your marriage counselor.
Traditional Premarital Counseling
This method requires you to open up about your issues and problems with your marriage counselor.
Religious Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling focuses on the faith and religion of the couple.
Online Premarital Counseling
This is done online. You will be able to reflect deeply with your partner once the session starts. After you
complete the therapy session, a certificate will be granted to you.
Compatibility Assessment
You will be asked to answer different research-based questions about your compatibility with your partner. The test will be examined by a professional or a marriage counselor.
Group Discussion
In this method, you will be joined by another couple undergoing the same counseling. In that way, you will be able to learn new resolution methods.
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Conclusion
Being married is both exciting and challenging. You will no longer be making decisions by yourself because you need to do it with your partner. That is why you two must have the same goals and dreams for each other.
With the help of pre-marriage counseling, you will be able to know and dig deeper into your indifferences. You can also resolve your unhealthy habits and attitudes, your views in life, and other vital relationship problems.
Remember that your husband or wife is your life partner, and each decision you both make will reflect on your family's future.
We hope that this article has helped you know all the important aspects of marriage life.